finally back in my cozy bed, about to watch a movie; all is right
well, except that i have so much work that i am ignoring in this way
i really cannot believe that i am leaving goucher college in seventeen days.
everything does not feel right to leave, but at the same time it does. i feel like i haven’t finished anything i started here, but that’s probably because i was never meant to. i don’t think i mesh with this place, but that also could be because i don’t feel any self-worth. it’s because i realize this that i need to take a year to myself, to work, to teach myself more about areas i am interested in, to cook, to give back to people, to spend time by myself and my family — the people i need to be with most to be comfortable with myself. the freedom of this place makes me feel guilty.
i will miss some of the things i have found here, but i am ready to move on.